The soft glow of warm, colorful incandescent Christmas lights brightened our home as my cousins and I waited for the food to be served, while our aunts stayed busy in the kitchen, cooking and sprinkling their Christmas magic. The smell of lumpia and ham wafted through the house, making our stomachs grumble in anticipation.

Tatay, my brothers, uncles, and cousins were outside, taking turns firing up the lantaka — a traditional bamboo cannon commonly used as a firecracker during New Year’s Eve.

I, on the other hand, stayed in the living room, entranced by the colorful lights as they played lively Christmas tunes.

The sound of my dog, Casper, pulled me out of my reverie. I looked around the living room, surrounded by Christmas décor and lights, and listened to the silence.

Christmas feels different now.

The magic is still there — I can feel it — but it’s much quieter. Subdued, I would say. I wonder if this is what it means to grow up: to still see the twinkling lights but experience them differently.

Come to think of it, I don’t recall a Christmas memory in my adulthood as detailed as this. That’s not to say I don’t get excited about Christmas, or that I’ve become lonesome during this time of year. But excitement fades. The fun chaos softens.

And then I realized that Christmas magic, when we are adults, is different from when we were kids because it comes from within us now.

It is quieter, but more grounded. More stable.

The joy of receiving is replaced by the gift of giving. Different, yet the same embodiment of the Christmas spirit.

As a child, I was the recipient of everything beautiful about Christmas: the lights, the food, the presents. But as an adult, I have become the giver of these things. The smiles of my family and friends as I hand them gifts, and the wonder in the eyes of children seeing the Christmas lights outside my house, bring me a quiet joy and contentment.

Being an adult allows me to spread Christmas magic — and multiply it tenfold.

Christmas is about giving and receiving, without guilt. But more than that, I believe the spirit of Christmas is rooted in gratitude.

As I watch my colorful Christmas tree with Casper by my side, a steady warmth fills my heart.

I am now the carrier of Christmas magic.

And you too, dear Stranger 🤍.

Here’s some gingerbread cookies for you.

Merry Christmas.