Indeed, I have come a long way.

So, what brought me here? How did the labyrinth open?

I remember writing once on a tissue paper that our darkness will ultimately save us – and it did save me again. The disappointment I feel toward myself after every failed promise, routine, and habit has been building up. All of these contributed to the discomfort and dissatisfaction I’ve been feeling lately.

And thus, I’ve started going inward. I keep ruminating and asking myself why a thousand times.

Then, it occurred to me: the path I have been taking is a path I haven’t set for myself. I’m grateful for it, but it is no longer for me.

I want to make my own.

Here’s the truth I’ve only recently begun to accept: I have always said that I know myself, yet it’s only now that I’m realizing how little I actually understood. I haven’t really known myself deeply. I haven’t really thought for myself.

For years, I simply danced to the rhythm of what life presented to me – taking the opportunities that came because they were practical, staying where I was needed, and moving where I was expected. And for a long time, that was enough. Maybe even necessary.

But now, living solo and having myself as my own company has truly transformed me and how I think about my life going forward. The silence of my own space gave voice to the parts of me I kept suppressing because I was afraid they wouldn’t have the space they needed to thrive.

This resurgence of independence has allowed me to truly assess myself and to make my own decisions – even the uncomfortable ones. It has brought me back to square one – to begin again.

Maybe this is why I am here: writing, creating, and carving out my space yet again, because beginnings don’t always happen once. Sometimes, they return when we are finally ready.

Beginnings don’t always happen once. Sometimes, they return when we are finally ready.

This is my nth chance of beginning.
But this time, fear is not in the driving seat – hope is.

I guess it is because yearning is no longer a curse but a blessing instead. It is no longer the prick in my heart reminding me of what I haven’t gotten yet. It is now the slow intake of breath at the realization of the many empty spaces left for all my hopes and dreams to come.

Pages and Paths started as a small idea to document my travels, then evolved into a place where I could express myself. But now, I finally realize its true purpose: to take a chance on myself and on my faded dreams.

This is where I write my own page and follow my own path.
It is the testament that, beneath all my doubts and hesitations, I genuinely do believe in myself.

My glowing past and the long-forgotten future are now lighting my path in the present. As I allow myself to once again dream, this song echoes:

“And you’re always free to begin again / And you’re always free to believe / When you find the place that your heart belongs / You’ll never leave.”

May you, too, find your path again, Stranger.